Posted in Rant

100 Questions

Hey guys! Today I thought I’d do the 100 questions tag I saw on Rutvi’s blog ’cause it looked really fun! Here goes.

1.) what’s your favorite season?

love winter. My birthday, blankets, cold weather’s amazing.

2.) grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.

The truth, however, was stranger still. 

The Lost Symbol!! Dan Brown!! Fave professor, Robert Langdon!!

3.) who was the last person you texted?

Neha about this email essay thing going on in our school. It’s so much fun!

4.) before you started this survey, what were you doing?

I was helping my sis make chocolate cheesecake. I really really want to eat it.

5.) what is the last thing you watched on TV?

F.R.I.E.N.D.S ’cause why not. Millionth rewatch, I’m not even kidding.

6.) without looking, guess what time it is.

4:15ish in the afternoon?

7.) now look at the clock–what time is it?

4:47, ay not bad, good job me.

8.) with the exception of the computer, what can you hear?

My sister reading out puns and this Hindi song, Raabta, it’s actually beautiful. Deepika Padukone heart eyes emoji.

10.) do you like fish?

Fish tastes weird. It tastes like the sea, if that makes any sense, I hate it.

11.) mac or pc?

I’m too poor for a mac, pc all the way.

12.) do you remember your dreams?

It’s really rare but whenever I do remember, I remember my nightmares? And they’re all related to natural disasters? I don’t quite understand it, it’s really weird.

13.) when did you last laugh?

Just some time ago.

14.) do you remember why/what at?

My sis and I were seeing who could throw the most cheesecake packets into utensils. She won, I was very annoyed.

 15.) have you ever been to canada?

When I was like 7? All I remember is the restaurant and this street near the hotel which faced the Niagara falls. So prettyy.

16.) shoes, socks, or bare feet?

 Bare feet. Wearing shoes and socks takes way too much time.

17.) do you wear perfume?

Never, actually, but I love how perfumes smell, sometimes I spray them on my wrists.

18.) what is the last film you saw?

Everything, Everything. It wasn’t bad actually. I recommend it. The book’s better however.

19.) if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

I think New York City, but that seems too basic.

20.) if you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?

A whole bunch of books and food.

22.) what’s your favorite band?

Uh, Against The Current’s up there, but I don’t really have a favourite.

23.) have you ever had to have surgery?

Nahh.

24.) do you enjoy school?

Yeah! It’s not bad. I get to spend time with my friends and even classes aren’t that bad. However, when it comes to tests.

25.) what do you think of these questions so far?

I like them! It’s a lot of fun answering.

 26.) are you a righty or a lefty?

LEFTY!! Statistically, it means that I’ll die earlier but according to my friend, that’s only said because in older times, at war, soldiers would hold shields with their left hands, to cover their hearts and they would fight with their right hands. But lefties would hold their shield with their right hands, hence leaving their hearts unprotected and they’d die more easily. According to this, I won’t actually die earlier so, yay.

27.) who made the last incoming call on your phone?

Rev for half an hour? Whatta dramatic boy she is.

28.) what is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?

This document which I had to edit for my dad’s friend. If I do it properly, I’ll get paid!

29.) last time you swam in a pool?

Shit, I can’t even remember, it’s been ages. Swam in the beach however, was in June when I went to Bali with my family. So much fun!

30.) type of music you dislike most?

Uh, I don’t really like classical music, it’s so slow.

31.) are you listening to music right now

Always. Clarity by Zedd featuring Foxes. I love it. You are the piece of me I wish I didn’t need..

32.) what’s your favorite color?

Purple! Okay, this has a backstory. A really bad one but nonetheless. When I was a kid, in school, there was this whole concept of boy colours and girl colours which annoyed the shit out of me. Being the tiny egalitarian I was, I rebelled against the whole system by taking a boy colour (blue) and a girl colour (red) and combining them to make my favourite colour (purple).

33.) is there anything you’re disappointed about?

That rape is a thing.

34.) what was the last thing you bought?

I honestly cannot remember.

35.) sun or rain?

Rain! The smell, the atmosphere and ’cause I live on the ninth floor, the wind is magnificent. The only downside’s that we hang our clothes outside in the balcony, so a lot of times they just fly away.

36.) would you rather go bungee jumping or sky diving?

I’m scared of heights, so none, thank you very much.

37.) what’s your zodiac sign?

Capricorn!!

38.) what’s your hair color?

It’s really dark brown, but not black.

39.) what quote do you live by?

Happily ever after, or even just together ever after is not cheesy,’ Wren said. ‘It’s the noblest, like, the most courageous thing two people can shoot for.'”

This quote’s from Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell and I just really really love it. It gives me hope? Like it’ll all be okay, it gets better.

40.) what’s your favorite zoo animal?

I like zebras and lions and tigers and giraffes and hippos.

41.) do you have any pets?

used to. Not anymore however and it makes me sad.

42.) what color are your eyes?

Brown.

43.) do you wear any kind of jewelry 24/7?

I wear earrings and this ring. I love (ear)rings, they’re so pretty and nice.

44.) do you turn the water off when you brush your teeth?

Oh hell yeah. But the rest of my family doesn’t and I keep having to do it for them. Too annoying.

45.) do you know how to change your car’s oil?

Oh Lord, no.

 46.) do you have any phobias?

Heights, but it’s more of a fear of falling. A little spiders and creepy crawly insects.

47.) what’s your lucky number?

3.

48.) have you ever eaten a crayon?

Is that something people do?

49.) can you solve a rubix cube?

I wish.

50.) what are you listening to right now?

Give Me Novocaine by Green Day. New obsession, I’m telling you.

51.) do you like marmit?

Isn’t that that Australian spread or something?

52.) do you wear the hood on hoodies?

When I’m messing around, yes.

53.) is the glass half empty or half full?

Both.

54.) what’s the farthest away place you’ve been?

I’m in India now so I’ve gotta say Californiaa even though that was when I lived in USA.

55.) do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

Ha. I barely ever untie my shoes.

56.) what’s your favorite radio station?

93.5!! I’m considering changing to Mirchi or 104 maybe, ’cause they play the same five songs on repeat on Red FM.

 57.) are you allergic to anything?

I think I have a skin allergy to gram flour. I’m not sure though.

58.) were you named after anyone?

No.

59.) do you wear glasses/contacts?

Glasses since the end of third grade. I look terrible without them.

 60.) have you ever walked out of a movie theater before the film was over?

No, it seems mean.

61.) what’s your least favorite school subject?

Currently media studies, ’cause it’s getting to be really boring, but I’m hoping it’ll get interesting again!

62.) put your itunes library on shuffle. what song comes up?

 Fly Away by 5 Seconds of Summer.

 63.) do you wear jeans or sweatpants more?

Jeans! The same pair of jeans for weeks. I lovee it.

64.) where in the world would you like to travel?

Europe!! It looks so beautiful.

65.) are you traveling anywhere soon?

I think Goa with my cousins.

66.) have you ever built an igloo?

I don’t think so.

67.) best thing at starbucks?

Iced Caramel Macchiato and Java Chip Frappe. Best.

68.) do you like watching scary movies?

Not really, they terrify me. I’ll watch them with company though.

69.) what’s the best thing about school?

friends, talents day and grad.

70.) what were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping lol.

71.) what’s under your bed?

tiles.

 72.) how do you really feel about what you’re doing right now?

I like answering these and I’m eating cookie cake and listening to music so pretty good I’ll say.

73.) think fast, what do you like right now?

Brooklyn Nine Nine!

74.) are you sarcastic?

God, yes.

75.) what time do you get up?

6:45ish.

76.) what was the name of your first pet?

Sea! She was a betta fish, I miss her, aw.

77.) what color are your sheets?

White with yellow tulips on them.

78.) how are you feeling right now?

Not bad.

79.) what was your favorite food as a child?

Peas with melted butter. I tried it again recently, couldn’t last more than a bite.

 (question 80 was a repeat)

81.) can you whistle? 

I try but noo, it’s so sadd.

82.) do you drink soda?

Yes! I was just having Sprite this morning.

83.) have you read the harry potter series?

People who haven’t confuse me.

84.) can you drive a stick shift?

I’m fifteen.

85.) what’s your favorite candle scent?

I’m too uncultured to have one of these, all candles smell good to me.

86.) have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Without anyone pulling them down? That happens?

87.) do you sing in the shower?

Like, sometimes. I usually just think up elaborate scenarios which I enjoy. Uh, not in a perverted way.

88.) can you speak another language?

Hindi, a little French and Spanish. Yo hablo espagnol.

89.) can you close your eyes and raise your eyebrows?

 

Weird questions.

90.) dogs or cats?

Dogs all the way. But I like cats too, they’re adorable.

91)Do you make wishes at 11:11?

 

Rarely.

92.) what’s your favorite type of chapstick?

Uh, I don’t really use chapstick but when I do, it’s either like Nivea or Vaseline or Baby Lips or something.

 

93.) which came first–the chicken or the egg?

Egg?

94.) what are you reading now?

Rereading Carry On! Such a fav, I love it so much.

 95.) can you touch your nose with your tongue?

If I push my nose down, yes.

96.) can you walk in heels?

I mean, kinda but I wouldn’t choose it. I literally only wear this one pair of Crocs everywhere, my friends are honestly going to burn it.

97.) how many rings before you answer the phone?

Around 2-3 to make sure it’s not an accidental call.

98.) any new and exciting things you’d like to share?

I had leftover pizza for breakfast! And I was watching Brooklyn Nine Nine! And I managed to continue writing this story I’d given up on!

99.) what is most important in life?

Happiness.

100.) what inspires you?

Music and books.

 

When this is the longest thing you’ve written in so long, you know you have problems.

I. Need. To. Write. 

Okay, if you’re still reading, I’m judging you a little but yay, hope you enjoyed it! 

Posted in Things I Loved Reading/Listening To

A Brown Girl’s Guide to Gender – Aranya Johar 

The first boy who held my hand told me boys didn’t want to hear about vaginas bleeding. Younger me could smell the misogyny. Vaginas only meant to be fucked, breasts only meant to be sucked, mouths only meant to blow. It’s true, I know. My waist meant to be compared to an hour glass. My voice only meant to quiver, ‘Ugh, please, fast.’ Yet, I am silenced. For all we boil down to is sexual interaction. Not just me, my mother, sisters, friends, all quicken their pace post 8.30 in the evening. My mom telling me to wear skirts out less often. Nirbhaya and more, left forgotten. We don’t want to be another of India’s daughters, do we? So I wear my jeans long and wear my tops high. Don’t show my cleavage or a hint of my thighs. Don’t want to be mistaken for wanting it. Cause if I wear less, I’m more than just flaunting it, I’m risking it. Risking not my virginity, but my life. My hymen seems to be sacred, told to keep it till I’m a wife. If not, I’m a whore, a slut, a skank and more. Not as pure as I was before. 15 year old Laxmi didn’t like 32 year old Guddu back and Guddu dealt with it real maturely, he made her the victim of an acid attack. Laxmi could be your sister, your girlfriend, your cousin. We’re girls, women, human, not a burden. I ask my male friend to drop me home because his privilege will protect mine. I’m sorry dad, for I was catcalled in my uniform at the age of 9. This isn’t an all men thing I know. Trust me, I do. But the men I can trust are only a few. At the age of 12 my bra straps were sexualized. At the same time, we don’t get damn sexual rights. My aunt raped by her husband, but marital rape is fine. Pucker up, it’s a mad design, get in line. So what I’m trying to say here tonight is, I’m sorry I was brought up in a family where my brother taught me wrong from right. Where my mother believes in our generation to better the world. Make it slightly easier for each and every girl. Thank you. For I see men in this room. Reaching out for help, realizing the bane of the womb. Being saved by the sane of a few. We’re all collectively reaching out for you. Thank you.

Posted in Confessions of a Preteen Writer

Confessions Of A Terrible Preteen Writer 

First things first, I used to be a terrible writer. I’m not saying I’m brilliant now, but I like to think I’ve improved quite a bit. 

I was going through some of my old stuff and I swear to God, I cringed so hard. I mean, they were pretty darn funny and I thought, hey, you know what would be funny? If you broadcasted this on your blog for everyone to laugh at! And so, here it is. Do enjoy. 

-X-X-X-

Present me- bold

Fetus me- everything else

The thieves of the… Oh my God, I’m already regretting this. Good title, past me, nice job, creative. 

CHAPTER 1:

I BLACK OUT IN THE CAFETERIA Spoiler Alert much?



Hi.I’m Althea Brown(Ally) and I wanted to tell you about my crazy life .I’m not really good at storytelling but I’ll give it my best shot. Ew, first person. By the way, I wrote this mid my Percy Jackson phase so forgive the parallels.

It all started when… Oh wow, an ellipsis. Intriguing. 
Max and I changed our grades. We had taken a Geo test the day before, and let’s just say, we didn’t do very good. We failed. In my defense, I wasn’t sitting next to anyone smart. Oh, cool girl, copying. That time, I hated Max (for no apparent reason) little bitchy, eh?, but since we both failed, HE thought that we should sneak into the classroom at night and change our grades from an ‘F’ to an ‘A’, a ‘Can do better’ to a ‘Can’t do better’ and a ‘0’ to a ’50’. Weirdly phrased, hm. So we decided to meet up at 12 ‘o’ clock, midnight, and go to the classroom together. Okay, I think I should clarify that our lovely protagonist here goes to boarding school. Or an orphanage, I can’t remember. B&E, good first offence, children. 

The plan worked out great, and we became more than enemies when were y’all ever enemies but less than friends why can’t y’all be friends, that’s not nice. So…allies. We became allies. Allies?! It’s called acquaintances, or nothing.
The next day, I woke up, combed my hair, took a shower, got ready, combed it again and stared at my face in the mirror Thank you for describing your morning routine, don’t know what I would’ve done without it. I had straight brown hair with blue eyes. I didn’t call myself pretty but I ddn’t call myself ugly either Okay in case it isn’t clear, I used to be really bad at describing how people look, I never got how writers just inserted it into a narrative. I walked out of my room wait where are you even going with a big smile, awaitng *awaiting this morning’s surprises. I can’t with this, Jesus.
I heard a really girly scream what is a girly scream, I’d like to know .”Ah”,I thought,”there it is. My masterpiece.” Masterpiece. *shudders rather violently*

I turned around to see a feather-coated girl wth honey dripping all over her, glaring at me. That’s mean, what’d she ever do to you Jenelle Cyrus. She was the rich, spoilt daughter of a mllionaire, until he was shot, oh wow, harsh last year. Jenelle was sent here with a trunk of very fancy clothes and some other things which I didn’t bother to check as I wasn’t gonna use those anytime soon why are you trying to steal things from a girl whose dad just died, what are you, you bitch. Minor detail: she hates me. Probably ’cause you tried robbing her right after her dad died.

I smirked,”Hun, it’s not nice to stare, I ain’t that pretty also.” Oh look at that sass what good sass proud of you fetus me you suck

She was just about to send back a (lame) wow me, you’re so (lame) good retort when her eyes widened and stared at something behind me. I was just about to turn around when I smelt something. Someone grabbed me wow and clamped a damp handkerchief on my nose and mouth. Chloroform. What is this school/orphanage, where is the security, how she being kidnapped in daylight in her school, are there no teachers? I’d never send my kid to this school. I tried to escape but the guy/girl *person had an iron grip. Why is Jenelle just standing there, get help, do something, what is this.

Then everything turned black. Oh wow, cliffhanger, I am so interested to find out what happened. 

-X-X-X- 

Okay so, that was fun. Should I do this again? What did you think of preteen me? 

Posted in Poetry

Their Daughter 

What if they

Cried when

I was born?


What if they


Weren’t only


Tears of joy?




What if they


Were tears


For their


Daughter


Who should


Have been


There to


Smile at


Her new


Sister.




For their


Daughter


Who should


Have been


There to


Hold her


Hand and


Giggle about


How small


It is.




For their


Daughter


Who should


Have been


There.




For their


Daughter.


May 8, 1998 to July 29, 2001.

Miss you, di.

Posted in Poetry

Tired Girls 

They’d play silly games,

Their eyes shining,

Knees scratched from

A day in the sand box.

Smiles for everyone

And lo, some more.

Tired girls, happy

For they loved.
Tag and hide and seek,

Duck duck goose.

Shouts of glee and

Screams — “You’re it!”

Picnics with ice cream,

Pizza and barbecue.

Tired girls, happy

For they loved.

 

Backyard games and

Hysterical laughter;

Whispered promises:

“I won’t tell anyone.”

And then telling

Everyone by mistake.

Tired girls, happy

For they loved.

 

Broken legs, sighs,

Sweat and tears;

Talking about

Everything and nothing.

Easter egg hunts,

Drive in movies.

Tired girls, happy

For they loved.

 

Visits to the library,

Smelling the books.

Playing with magnets

And marbles and stones:

“Here, catch this! Oh no!

I didn’t mean to hurt you!”

Tired girls, happy

For they loved.

Posted in Rant

Screw rape culture 

You’re just minding your own business, shoving your books in your locker, you have English next with your best friend. A junior passes by and smiles at you, you smile back. 
A senior boy who you’ve seen around walks up to you and plainly says,” Hi.”

You return the greeting, confused as to why he’s talking to you. 
“I’ve seen you around and you’re really really really hot and I was wondering if you’d go out with me?” His voice pitches higher as he ends.
Your eyes widen, you’ve literally never talked to this guy before. Sure, he seems like a nice enough guy but. 
“Oh, uh, I’m sorry, I, I’d rather not, sorry. I don’t really know you, so.”
And yeah, you expect him to just nod, a little disappointedly perhaps and leave. 

But he just stands there and you’re not sure if you’re supposed to wait for him to go. So you close your locker, zip up your bag and grab onto your backpack straps, hoping he’ll take a hint. But he’s still standing there, just looking at you and your class is going to start in ten minutes so you turn to leave ‘cause priorities. He grabs your arm and your eyebrows fly up. Hell no, he did not just touch you. He suddenly pulls you back and your breath is knocked out as your back hits his chest. Hell friggin no. 
You step in front, pulling your arm out from his grip and swivel around to face the asshole. He opens his mouth, possibly to give a trashy useless explanation and you will not let him speak. You make a fist, clench your teeth, pull your arm back and punch him in the nose. There’s a satisfying crack and someone somewhere screams. There’s blood gushing out of his nose, he’s grabbing onto it yelping like a dog; people are rushing up to you, some yelling, some high fiving you. 

You step back from the crowd and inspect your hand calmly to make sure his thick head didn’t bruise you. 
A teacher pushes her way through the crowd and runs towards the Asshole. She calls out for someone to get the principal. The Asshole is taken to the infirmary and the teacher tells you to ‘calm down and think about what you just did for violence is never the answer.’ 
The principal pushes his way through the crowd, his pinstripe suit and bald head shining. He looks at you, his head cocked as if wondering how such a small girl did such damage. “You. Explain to me what happened.”
And so you do, leaving no detail out. He nods along, his expression getting tighter and tighter. You assume he’s going to do something to the Asshole and you pull up your bag so you can leave but then he says, “You should’ve heard him out, he didn’t actually hurt you. Your response was quite inappropriate and unnecessary.”
Your eyes widen as he goes on. Unnecessary? Inappropriate?! Didn’t actually hurt you? 
You’re bewildered that a well educated man, the principal of a co-ed school actually thinks like that.
“I’m sorry, unnecessary? Inappropriate? If anything, your attitude is unnecessary. I’m presuming you’re well educated so you can’t possibly be telling me it’s my fault that boy grabbed my arm. He came into my personal space, he touched me without my permission and you’re saying I should’ve heard him out? If this is honestly your attitude, you should quit teaching forever because all you’re doing is teaching girls to take harassment and assault without saying anything and to be quiet victims and teaching boys that it’s okay to touch girls against their will. Which it is not. In a murder case, you don’t blame the victim. Why is it you blame them in a rape case?” — Gasps are heard. — “Men like you are why there are a quarter of a million rape cases reported annually. And that’s only reported. Who knows how many women are too scared to go to police in fear of their lives or the lives of their loved ones? Men like you are why we don’t feel safe to walk alone at night.” —You point at his face.— “Men like you are why my mum taught me how to punch people properly. Screw rape culture.”

Explaining to your mom why her daughter has been sent home early is a little hard, but by the end she’s smiling, a little teary and she hugs you, kissing your forehead. “How about we go out for some ice cream, eh?”

Inspired by this post

Posted in Poetry, Rant

afraid

Afraid

I don’t have a

Road to follow.

 

Afraid

I’m never

Good enough.

 

Afraid

I’m not

Passionate enough.

 

Afraid

I might be

Losing my mind.

 

Afraid

To lose

My way.

 

Afraid

To be ridiculed

For how I look.

 

Afraid

I’ll drown in

My thoughts.

 

Afraid

I won’t be

Okay alone.

 

Afraid

I can’t take

Care of myself.

 

Afraid

No one will

Love me.

 

Afraid

I don’t have

Enough talent.

 

 

Afraid

I’ll never love

Who I am.

 

Inspired by one of my favourite bloggers, Ivy.